I Hear You Now
by neffititi
Summary: Valkubus one-shot. Takes place somewhere after 4x11, but not right after. Rated M for language


**A/N: Had to get this shit out of my system after 4x11. Valkubus one-shot. Not sure where this follows, I guess it's something throughout S4**

**Major character death, don't like it, don't read it**

* * *

Bo had never thought that one day Tamsin would leave her, because the blonde had always been there. She was there when Kenzi was kidnapped. She was there for her Dawning invitation. She was in her bathtub, fully clothed.

Then, after Tamsin's rebirth, she was like everywhere. Every time Bo walked down stairs in the middle of a sleepless night, Tamsin was there, passing out on the couch, leaving the TV on playing some lame action movie. Every time Bo came home, Tamsin was there, in the kitchen with Kenzi, cooking something, or rather, burning something. Every time when Bo wanted to lie down on the couch, Tamsin was there, combing hair and painting nails with Kenzi.

_God I know I found you on the street and took you home, Kenz. I never signed up for raising a kid together._ That was Bo's thought, when she saw Kenzi yelling at Tamsin when she did something wrong, and the blonde just had her head lowered, looking guilty.

Sometimes Bo wasn't sure why Tamsin could be such a hard ass in her previous life, yet so docile under Mama Kenzi's wings. Sometimes she thought Tamsin might never grow back to that woman who twisted her arm behind her back and pushed her to the wall in the police station while she claimed that she was going to kick her ass that day.

The enmity between them were gone, after the Yule party, but not for long. When Bo heard that she told Lauren about their kiss in Brazenwood, right before the doctor broke up with her, she was shocked, pissed, and hurt. Then, she found out about Tamsin and Dyson, and that really hurt. It hurt so much, that she couldn't even figure out how to deal with it.

One night, Bo exploded, when she saw Dyson drop her off at the shack, with her hair all messed up, her clothes carelessly unbuttoned, and she smelled like she had just robbed a liquor store. She couldn't remember what she said that night, but whatever she had said, Tamsin didn't even give a fuck. She just smirked at her, and told her to mind her own Rainer business. _You don't love him, you don't get to have him, fair game, right? Me and him? Maybe we'll get so drunk one day and pop out some wolf pups together, but why is that your business, Succubus? If you want to fuck him, take a number…well, I guess you can join us for a threesome. Surely he wouldn't mind._ That was what Tamsin said to her that night.

Bo found it strange, that she couldn't even remember her own words that night, but she remembered every single word of Tamsin's. She even remembered the Valkyrie's shimmering, blue eyes, with tears welling up inside.

That night they argued. She slapped Tamsin, and Tamsin fought back. They got so loud, that they eventually woke drunk Kenzi up. Kenzi yelled at them, telling them to stop or she would just leave them forever. Then the Russian girl burst into tears in the middle of the living room, crying over her loss, Hale.

That exact moment, Bo felt everything in her life was falling apart, and she could never get them back, ever again. Feeling hurt and angry, she never spoke to Tamsin again.

And then, the big battle with her father came.

* * *

Waking up in her own bed, Bo found everyone standing there, looking at her. They seemed worried, and relieved, when she woke up.

Everyone was there, even Evony, Vex and Stella, but no Tamsin.

"Where's emmm….where's Tamsin?" Bo asked.

Everyone in the room sighed. Kenzi sat down on her bed, taking her hands in hers, and said, "Bo-bo, Tamsin's…gone."

"Oh." Bo huffed out a light laugh, "She finally disappeared for good? God that's great. I'm so tired of her shit…"

Kenzi took a deep breath, but even that didn't stop her tears from falling. "No, Bo-bo." She said, her voice shaking so hard that Bo could hardly understand her, "She's gone. She died, during the…battle with…with your father and Rainer…" Then the Russian girl couldn't help but cried out loud and fell onto Bo.

"Oh." Bo said numbly. She watched Dyson turn around to hide his tears, and so did Trick. "Oh." She repeated again. After a long pause, she said, "So when is she going to be reborn again? In a week? A month? Can't be a whole year long, right? I mean-"

"Bo." Trick interrupted her, "She won't be reborn again. She was at her last life. Valkyries only get their wings in their last life. So…"

Trick didn't finish his sentence, and Bo certainly didn't need him to do so, because the rest of the conversation didn't matter to her anymore. She just sat in her bed, watching Kenzi cry without saying another word.

* * *

Things went back to normal after everyone recovered from the battle. The dead were buried, and the living kept living. Bo went back to her old life, hunting for criminals in the day, and preys at night.

Bo thought things would just flow like that, until one day, she found the flash drive under Tamsin's pillow, when she and Kenzi were cleaning the shack. Kenzi insisted that they should keep Tamsin's room as is, like one day the blonde was just gonna walk through the door to claim that she was back. Bo thought it was stupid, and childish, because Tamsin would never come back, but after saying that in front of Kenzi for a couple of time before, she decided to keep it to herself, because every time she had said that, Kenzi became extremely upset.

That night, Bo put the flash drive on her laptop, after Kenzi went to bed. There was a video file on it, and Bo opened it.

After the first few seconds of shaking, fuzzy image, Bo realized that it was probably some video Tamsin took before she went on her finding-myself trip. _Kids._Bo shook her head, but somehow, she couldn't turn her eyes away, when she saw her face on screen, because it looked so vivid, and alive, like she had never left her.

At first it was some random stuff, self pep talk, things she was going to do during her trip, places she wanted to visit, her to-do list. Bo stared at her face, fascinated by how it looked exactly like the bad ass Tamsin, yet in a teenager spirit.

After talking and mumbling for a while, Tamsin stopped. She paced in her room in front of the camera nervously, like she was hesitantly about whether she should say something or not.

Eventually, the blonde turned back to face the camera again, taking deep breaths. "Ok. Here we go." She said to herself in the video, "This shit gotta be on your to-do list girl. When you come back from the trip, you gotta tell Bo that you love her."

Bo froze, when she heard those words coming out from those low quality speakers on her laptop. At first she thought she heard it wrong, so she replayed the last few seconds of the video.

"…gotta tell Bo that you love her." Tamsin said. Then she circled around in the room anxiously while mumbling, "Oh no no no, that's such a bad idea. It's not like she'll…she'll love you back or something…'cause she's like perfect…and she has like Dyson, Lauren and…"

Bo covered her mouth with her hand and swallowed hard. She felt this lump in her throat, and she could hardly breathe. She didn't hear the rest of it, because it was all nervous mumbling. Then suddenly Tamsin stood in front of the camera with a smile on her face, and said, "Be brave and be strong. Be a great Valkyrie. YOLO, right?"

Bo took a deep breath, and watch it again, then again, in the middle of the night, in her bed, with that dim light coming from the laptop screen. Then she stopped replaying the video, and she just sat there, staring at the last image of it, where Tamsin looked so determined and happy, as if she was about to have a great life, with all the good things, and love, waiting for her in the future.

Love. That word suddenly squeezed Bo's heart so hard, that she grabbed her laptop and threw it to the wall. The screen shattered, but Tamsin's smile was still there, broken. Bo kicked it, smashed it on the floor, and broke it into pieces, but that smile was still there, in her mind.

_Fuck! Fuck! _Bo cursed, when she started to shake and her tears started to fall down. She ran to the bathroom to spray some cold water on her face, but the only thing she did was smashing her fist on the mirror over and over again when she saw her own face, till she stopped feeling the pain on her hand. She choked in tears, trying to hold them back, trying to hold her sobs back, trying to hold back that agonizing pain, and endless sorrow that was about to devour her, but she just couldn't. She bit her bottom lip, weeping. She pressed her forehead against the broken mirror and closed her eyes in despair.

Trembling in anguish and devastation, Bo whispered,"I hear you Tamsin…I hear you now…I hear you now…I hear you now…"

She repeated the same thing, over and over again, in the bathroom, alone. Her voiced echoed in the room, reminding her how fucked up her life was.

Now she finally heard her, but she knew she heard her a long time ago. She heard her when Tamsin kissed her. She heard her when Tamsin took that bullet for her. She heard her every time Tamsin looked at her. She heard her that night when she invited her for threesome with Dyson with that smirk on her face and tears in her eyes.

But she just never listened, because she didn't know how to deal with her. She had no idea how to deal with it. She never thought it would be a problem, because things would just play out on their own, as their future unfolded. So she stayed in silence, because she thought the Valkyrie would never leave her.

Until she lost her, until now.

[The End]


End file.
